Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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