I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
