Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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