He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
