did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just gargled with NyQuil
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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