I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
