i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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