Who wears a wallet chain?!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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