Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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