We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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