at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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