My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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