That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish I only lived at night.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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