I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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