I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
