Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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