i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
