i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
