idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
