i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
