shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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