i jhust puked up my retainher.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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