i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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