Where is the hickey?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
