the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she told me i tasted like america
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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