Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
