When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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