I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
