why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That accounts for only three of the penises
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
