i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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