One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
