Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
