this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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