I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
