Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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