blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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