Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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