then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
