my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
