we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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