I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
