I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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