im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
