I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
