did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
