if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
