so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
