Apparently you make a good broom.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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