Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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