WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
